Steal this Tweet: How to create a fabulous social media career without doing any work

Tweet thief

It looks like this social media thing is going to catch on. With a bunch of smart people already saying they’re making money and getting famous on Twitter and Facebook, you’re probably thinking that this could be a great direction for your future career. Especially since taking video of yourself playing X-box and posting it to a YouTube channel with four subscribers hasn’t worked out all that well yet.

The thing is, to get this done the way some of the experts are recommending (build an audience, create value, engage, be transparent) seems like WAY too much work. And why bother anyway, when you can apparently leverage other people’s community? It sounds much easier just to do that!

Here’s a quick guide to building a successful career in social media in less than 20 minutes per day without ever having to leave the couch.  Once you’re famous, you can send me a royalty check. I’m good with 10%.

  1. Start following the big names in social. To find them, just Google some top 10 lists – you’ll get about 500 people, because everyone who started in social before 2010 is now an “influencer” – but you can winnow it down by eliminating everyone who’s not following Brian Fanzo.
  2. Set up Feedly to deliver you a whole bunch of social media blogs. Find some that only have a few followers – that way you’ll be a curator of value instead of just another wannabe who retweets everything Jay Baer posts.
  3. Tag as many people as possible in every tweet so they retweet you. It’s all about the numbers.
  4. Make quote graphics in Canva (but don’t use the paid images, that’s why they invented Google image, sorry Guy Kawasaki). Quote social media wizards like Gary Vaynerchuk and post the graphics incessantly to Instagram.
  5. Join a few dozen Twitter chats and greet everyone as they sign on, then drop off without saying anything. No one will notice.
  6. Open a Buffer account – don’t bother with the paid version; free works fine – and load it up with tons of scheduled posts for the next few weeks.
  7. Then head to the Caribbean for vacation.

I may have left out a few steps, but this should be enough to get you started. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a flight to book.

**Important Notice: Ignore everything I wrote above. I may have had too much Mountain Dew today.


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